Virtual Dreams

From the Smut Vault Dept.: Alongside those straight-up, technically detailed pieces I wrote for a variety of computer magazines in the early 1990s was my stint as a writer for an array of salacious magazines. This was akin to being a comedian working strip joints: The customers don’t pay attention, but you get a chance to hone your skills. The technical requirements described below are the best part of the piece – how antiquated it seems a mere quarter-century later!

                                                                                          

HOWARD STERN CALLS IT the first good reason for computers to exist. If you enjoy calling 900 numbers, it certainly gives you far more value for your money. If you’re frustrated by the lack of real-time tits on the Internet, this is the alternative. It’s called Virtual Dreams, and you use the same resources that the Internet calls for – personal computer, color monitor, fast modem – to get online.

Jean Harlow wasn't a
Virtual Dreams option

Once you’re there, you get an online date. But she’s not some kind of nerdish frump. You’re face to face with a gorgeous cyberbabe. That is, you see her face, because she’s looking at a camera. And she’s sitting in front of a computer monitor and keyboard. You’ll see her type a greeting to you. She’ll ask your name. She’ll try to get to know you a little.

And she’ll do whatever you want. In fact, she can’t wait to take her clothes off for you. Control yourself. Don’t be like Howard – he didn’t even wait to be introduced before exhorting his virtual date to take off her bra.

Because we prefer to take our time, let’s look at the technical side of Virtual Dreams while our new girlfriend gets comfortable. It’s kind of a one-way videoconferencing system, sending text and full-motion images your way. There’s no trickery here: your date is at the other end of the phone line. Full motion doesn’t mean TV quality motion – computers and modems aren’t that fast yet.

A standard video camera at the other end is plugged into a special hardware card that translates the signal into computer data; the software sends that data over the modem to your computer, where it’s turned back into a video signal. And you don’t need any special hardware card at your end – just a good video display. If you’ve got a 486 or better computer running Microsoft Windows (and you need Windows to operate the Virtual Dreams software), and a 9600 baud or faster modem, you’re all set.

You can download the software over the Internet by visiting their home page at <no longer exists>; they also run a BBS you can call with your modem at (619) 793-xxxx. The software takes a while to download, though – it’s 1.614 megabytes. You can have it mailed to you on diskette by calling 1-800-255-xxxx; that will cost you $9.95.

If you download the software, it’s in a self-extracting file called DREAMS.EXE. Move that file to an empty temporary directory (make one called C:\VTEMP), and expand the software by typing DREAMS at the C:\VTEMP> prompt or double-clicking DREAMS.EXE in the File Manager. Then run the SETUP.EXE program you’ll find in that directory. The files will be placed and you’ll see a Virtual Dreams program group added to the Program Manager.

Double-click the Virtual Dreams icon to bring up the software. Before connecting for the first time, you have to fill out the form that’s presented. Have your American Express, MasterCard or Visa number handy. Enter your name and address and so forth in the appropriate fields, using the Tab key to move from one field to the next. Click the “I am 18 years old or older” box, the click the Proceed button.

Keep in mind that this will cost you a one-time registration fee of $9.95; the service itself is $5.99 per minute, with a minimum connection of five minutes. Budget accordingly! You can enter a number for the maximum amount of time you wish to be connected in that sign-up screen.

The software dials the secret number (it’s an 800 number, so it’s a free call in the U.S. and Canada) and puts you right in touch with your date. A window opens with a full-color image of her. What happens next is between you and your date, although I suspect you’ll get her undressed pretty quickly.

“The most potent sexual organ is the mind,” says Virtual Dreams founder Gary Mittman. “This is better than the standard strip club because you have the one-on-one experience. It’s also better for the models who work here, who don’t have to deal with alcohol and cigarettes and the things that make clubs unpleasant.”

Headquarters are in southern California, where the models work in a series of specially-equipped studios. “It’s a safe, protected environment,” says Mittman, “We take good care of our people here.”

Call often enough and you’ll even get to know the girls. Regulars are reinforcing what Mittman says about the potency of the imagination. “We have callers who don’t even ask the girls to disrobe,” says Mittman. “It’s exciting enough for them just to be able to talk.”

Netscape update: Netscape’s new Web browser software (version 2.0) is available in a Beta version online at their Web site <no longer exists>; as indicated in a recent column, you can download a sample of the program, but it’s good only for a few weeks or use. That way, you’re persuaded to return to the Web site for updates. As of this writing, it wasn’t available for purchase, but you can buy version 1.2 for $44.95 to get a fully-functional program/

– D-CUP, June 1996