Dickens, not Shakespeare |
If winning women will be your strength
Give them books they can read at length,
For a lengthy novel will clearly show
You're a sensitive man to know!
So give her Tolstoy and Henry James,
Thackeray and those Bronte dames;
Unless you have Melville and Wolfe and Stowe
You won't seem like a regular Joe,
But the bard whose books get shared
Though this tribute would have galled him:
Is the one who never cared
Just what the Dickens they called him!
Refrain
Brush up your Dickens,
Make Dickens your own;
Brush up your Dickens,
And you'll never read alone!
If when loving she wants it two-fisted,
You can say that your Oliver's Twisted;
If when handling your Nick she will fickle be,
Show her just what a pickle your Nick'll be!
Just convince her you're packing a thick wick,
And you'll see just how quick she can Pickwick!
Brush up your Dickens,
And they'll moan, moan, moan!
Brush up your Dickens,
Make Dickens your own;
Brush up your Dickens,
And you'll never read alone!
When she longs for some closer relations,
You can fill her with Great Expectations;
If she laughs when she's standing before it,
Say, “It's Little, I know, but a-Dorritt!”
If from London to Paris she flitties,
You can bet she's a Tail of Two Cities!
Brush up your Dickens,
And they'll moan, moan, moan!
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