Cupid's Got Me by the Bells

I waited for your call. It came
At half-past six. You're not to blame
If circumstances hobnob so
They cause your sense of time to go
Right out the window. Pardon me:
I am a bit upset, you see,
For when the hour came and went
It caused me – not quite bafflement –
A feeling more like – not despair
(That's not to say I didn’t care –
More like – oh, skip it. What it was
Was very foolish, all because
An apprehensive – that’s the word!
I know, I know, this sounds absurd,
But, hell, I worry!  Who can tell
When Fate will toll disaster’s bell:

The highway freezes, in a trice
You’ve skidded on a sheet of ice
And smashed the car to smithereens!
And even more repulsive scenes:
A felon jumps a fence, escapes
From prison, finds you, cruelly rapes
You, draws a knife and, with a curse,
Begins to carve – No!  Even worse!
Suppose your building catches fire –
Wicked flames, advancing higher,
Trap you on the upper floor, Licking at the only door,
Heat and smoke then overcome you;
(Sure, I know, this sounds so dumb you
Hate to think what more I thought)
I thought perhaps that you got caught
By some demented terrorist
Who takes you – what? I can’t desist!
You see, it got so goddamn late,
While here I waited, sure that Fate
Was readying some cruel surprise
To victimize me. Victimize
The way I live, the one I love,
To give that most depressing shove
Into a state so moribund,
So frightened, sad, so – let’s say stunned –
That all my senses ceased to function
And I cried, I begged for unction,
Promising that, could I see you
Just once more, just you and me (you
See how desperate I had gotten?),
Never would I think these rotten
Thoughts of you: I’d learn to trust you
Even when you’re tardy (must you
Be this socialite gazelle?)
Oh yes, I know, you say, “To hell
With you – the traffic stalled me!”
Anyway, that’s when you called me.