From the Locked Vault Dept.: We haven’t visited my onetime alter-ego, Dr. Barry Tetons, since I offered this column from an unsavory magazine for which I used to write. Here’s a piece from the January 1996 issue, so astonishingly far from us now in terms of technology that the piece below seems laughably quaint.
BASED ON A RECENT Time magazine cover story and the rantings of certain people in congress, you’d think that the Internet was a teeming electronic maelstrom of smut. Fortunately for us, it is. But the good stuff isn’t as easy to find as Time and the others would have you think.
Let’s tour the Internet and find out where things tend to be placed. It’s a huge club, in a way – once you find your way into one room, you’ll learn where else to go. Web sites give you addresses of more web sites; discussion groups point the way to everything. If all else fails, get over to a chat area for real-time advice.
So let’s start with the chat channels. IRC – Internet Relay Chat – originated in Finland as a way of bringing groups of like-minded people together in real-time discussion. Now it draws folks from all over the world. To keep it somewhat orderly, it's divided into channels, each of which has a name that reflects (or tries to reflect) something about its special interest. Each name is preceded by the number sign (#), so that #Big_Bitches_with_Big_Tits is one of the more alluring channel names I've seen recently.
Some discussions never seem to end, and those channels may endure well into the next millenium. Others sparkle briefly and die. When you tour the list of available channels, you'll see many with only one user listed. Those folks are waiting for you to start a discussion. If you want to get right down to the subject that's really on your mind, ask to join the #bigtits channel and see if it exists. If it does, you're a keystroke away from fellow enthusiasts. If it doesn't, you just created it. And you're the channel operator, able to turn it into a private discussion area if you're so inclined. You can invite other users in, so if you see, say, Rush Limbaugh hanging out on the Internet, give him a shout (he's 70277.2502@compuserve.com, by the way. And if he proves to be too obnxious, as channel operator you can then kick him out).
Usenet groups are the message-based equivalent of chat areas. They're organized under topic names, and they're much longer-lasting than IRC channels. Thousands of interests are covered, although I always seem to end up in the same few areas: alt.sex.breast is a good place to start, where you'll also find D-CUP editor Bobby Paradise, not to mention some of our favorite models. In fact, alt.sex (the "alt" stands for alternate, "sex" I don't have to explain) precedes some fascinating and frightening topics, including alt.sex.movies, alt.sex.magazines, alt.sex.strip-clubs, and oddballs like alt.sex.fetish.startrek, alt.sex.woody-allen, and even alt.sex.bestiality.barney.
As noted previously, that's also a good realm for finding photographs. Alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.breasts is a D-CUPper's heaven. But it can take forever to download and assemble some of those images, even if your modem kicks ass; for a more immediate photo fix, try some Web sites.
That's where the most exciting Internet developments are happening. The World Wide Web, or WWW, or, simply, Web, is where you find the many home pages put together by people and, more recently, corporations looking to cash in on Internet potential. A Web page features hypertext links to other pages – which means that you can click on a highlighted word or phrase and get whisked to the corresponding place, especially helpful when you're browsing the fast-changing sex pages.
Because these do change so quickly, and especially because some of the Internet providers suddenly get spooked over sex, sites tend to migrate or disappear. Also, if the site proves to be too popular, which is usually the case when eroticism is involved, the provider's hardware can't always handle the traffic. Which means that your data transfers slow to a crawl.
Each of the addresses contains information to route your viewer to a particular part of a particular machine's hard disk – and you could end up looking at material all over the world. Anyway, start with one I recently discovered: http://www.netaxs.com/people/beauty/sexwww.html [update: it’s a dead site] points you to Web addresses (also called URLs for uniform resource locators), which can point you onward from there. For sex info in general, check out http://www.netaxs.com/people/beauty/netsex.html [ditto dead].
Porno film companies are discovering the Web. Vivid video has a home page at http://www.vivid.com, which will point you to all manner of Vivid-related material, including pictures. Which pointed me to Christy Canyon's fan club home page (https://www.vivid.com/stars/559/Christy_Canyon.html) where you're offered a chance to buy her films and photo features. In-X-Cess Video is on the Web at http://www.diode.com/video.html [dead link; try https://www.hotmovies.com/studio/78/In-X-Cess/], with news of video releases and CD-ROMs and some pretty good pictures. You'll also find EVN at http://www.evn.com [dead link], where there's plenty to look at and choose from.
Thanks to one enthusiastic Web master, there's a nude of the month posted at http://www.well.com/user/jef/jnude.html [dead link], where you'll also find some good links to other pages. A massive set of sex links is usually listed at http://iglou.com/linkland/linkland [dead link]; it was unavailable last time I checked, but when it's up, it's great. Also victim of its own popularity was a collection of nude photos at http://www.umich.edu/~schauber/adult-access.html [dead link], which the operator explains was shut down at the request of the University of Michigan (where the page was based) because of too much network traffic. Memo to Congress: People want to see those pictures!
How about some sex toys? Try http://www.sextoy.com/ or Hollis Enterprises at http://www.netline.net/~hollis/ [Hollis is gone]. Try the Internet Sex Store's erotica sampling at http://www.i-2000.com/1/erotica/erotica.html [dead link], and there's even a Red Light District of sorts as http://zoom.lm.com/ [dead link]. And don't forget D-CUP's own Danni Ashe, a technological groundbreaker whose Web site, Danni's Hard Drive, is at www.danni.com/danni [the link works, but Danni herself is long gone from the site].
I've been looking at many more CD-ROMs since I wrote about them last month; I'll share some new titles with you next month.
– D-Cup Magazine, January 1996
No comments:
Post a Comment